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2008-10-27 - 3:03 p.m. *typed into notepad and saved until I am here on the internet. unedited and unread since then* It's right before the bars close, and all of a sudden we're going to a house party some ten miles away. Really, I'm just going to keep her out of trouble. We're at the party, and she's doing her thing and I'm doing my thing. I'm having the most random and completely senseless but not-caring conversations with whoever. Apparently mesquite is some kind of weed-bush-tree thing and the mesquite barbeque flavor was an accident from when those texas guys decided to burn the fucking things. Yeah. Really, I'm just here to enjoy myself without any sort of effort. It's an hour later, and I'm heading into the kitchen when she calls my name. I turn, and she steps rapidly (it's like two steps, so whatever) and grabs my arm. She's wanting me to dance with her, which.. whatever, right? She says, "I shouldn't be doing this, Nate will tell his brother (who happens to be her quote unquote boyfriend)." My response? "I don't care." Really, I'm just here because I knew this would happen, and there's only one guy I want to be there in my position. Which guy is that? I'll give you a hint, you're reading his writing. I drive her home and I'm leaving her at her door because I'm not the three-oclock-in-the-morning-when-you're-drunk guy. I'm the one-oclock-in-the-afternoon-when-you-wake-up guy. I don't want that shit. I'm here immediately after leaving, writing this, and I'm still feeling the vodka in my brain, and they always say that alcohol only lets you do things you're inclined to do anyways, so me telling her "No, call me in the morning" as we're hugging is completely normal, right? Every guy I know talks about how hot she is. There are rumors flying, and guys are telling me how jealous they are, and I'm too much of a fucking romantic/gentleman/woman/what-the-fuck-is-wrong-with-me to take advantage of these situations. I mean seriously.

[ Who - Whom - Old - Host ] you know he's holding you down with the tips of his fingers just the same