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2010-12-15 - 6:38 p.m. She came from her home country of Sweden to travel with her friend around the USA. She wound up here for 9 days in the end of April/beginning of May. The first night I met her was a Monday night - which, for those who don't know, is one of our two scheduled weekly beer-pong nights. At that time my only job here was entertainment director. The next morning I was sitting by myself on the porch, looking at some cute girls sitting at the other table, when one of those girls suddenly came over, plopped herself down across from me, and said, "Do you remember what you promised me?" The voice inside my head immediately said 'no'. The voice inside my mouth took five seconds before saying 'no'. Apparently, as she recalled to me, she went into the laundry room that previous night and I made a big scene telling her that the washing machine was broken. The washing machine was not broken. This is how drunk me introduces myself to girls. Apparently we started talking and I promised her nail polish remover. Apparently I made an impression. For eight days I would try to spend all my time with her. For eight days I cursed myself for falling for a girl who is going to leave me. A girl who has a boyfriend. A girl who won't even let me kiss her. For eight days I was happy. When she left for LA we continued talking and though I don't remember who initiated it we decided that we would meet halfway for a day. So we both travelled one day to a city between LA and San Diego just to see each other one last time. Keep in mind that every few days there is a new girl waking up in my bed. Keep in mind that at the time this Swedish girl hasn't even kissed me. Keep in mind that I am a fool. After she left we kept writing over facebook every few days. I swore I would do everything I could to come visit her. I begged her to come back and stay with me. She broke up with her boyfriend, and I stayed alone for a few weeks. --- Six months later: I saw her waiting as soon as the bus entered the station. As soon as the doors opened I ran out and grabbed her in a hug. For two weeks I stayed with her in Sweden. Remember that this is the end of November now. In Sweden. Remember that I live in a place where it has snowed 5 times in the past 125 years. Remember that I came here because of a girl. I loved it. Absolutely loved it. At first when she introduced me to her friends she told me that we had to pretend to be just friends. She didn't want any stories getting back to her ex-boyfriend. Apparently I am too good of an actor, because on those nights I even convinced her. She would get upset because she thought I didn't like her all that much, because I wouldn't show her much affection. Women are crazy. --- We would cook meals together/for each other. We would wake up together and spend all day together, and I was content. For once in my life, I was happy to be domestic. But she was not. I am happy to just be with somebody without having to say how I feel all the time. So even though I would tell her how happy I was, even though I would try to do everything I could to make her happy, it wasn't enough for her to see how I actually felt. She got upset because she needed constant reassurance of how I felt, as if my saving up for 6 months and flying halfway across the world into the freezing weather wasn't enough. --- And then I came home. Here I am. There she is. It was a thing, and I hope it can continue to be a thing, but I am not so sure at all. I was so scared that I'd fuck it up that I fucked it up. --- This is all you'll get from me this year, I guess. Merry Christmas

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