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2005-08-15 - 8:36 p.m.
Three years ago I sat in my girlfriend's car and said these words: "I'm trying. I don't think you understand how hard I'm trying to make this fucking work. And I shouldn't have to." So I opened the door and walked away, without ever speaking to her again.I had spent that entire day on the edge of my roof thinking about my belief that relationships shouldn't be that hard. You shouldn't have to work to make it.
Today I sat on the banister on the porch for three hours, thinking about how an idea I used to have that living shouldn't be that hard.. that a job was the most ridiculous creation ever.. and things like rent suck ass.
So earlier today I sat in the living room and said "I'm trying. I don't think you understand how hard I'm trying to make this fucking work."
I'm still not sure how I felt about the fact that I almost walked out and drove to New York.
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