< > [ Beginning - End - Random - Notes - Email ]
2007-09-05 - 2:52 a.m.

I was looking for a movie to watch today and I thought I saw 'Snatch', but it wasn't. And then I thought, "Well, I own that movie, where is it?" And then I remembered that it is on the shelf with all the rest of my movies, in my mother's house in Colorado. When she moved, I packed up all of my things and took them to her new place, just to store them there. While I was gone, she unpacked quite a bit of it and organized the movies on a shelf and books on many shelves, and made my bed. Then she stored some of her stuff in there. The last time I went there, I showed up and she started moving all of her things out of the room.

I think she thought I was coming back to stay.

And I was thinking about this, after thinking about the movie 'Snatch', and all of a sudden it popped into my head about how weird it would be if the next time I went home my mom had gray hair. That would be weird. She has been getting them for at least a few years, but she dyes her hair so it doesn't show.

She is getting old. She will be 47 in two-and-a-half months. That is almost fifty-years-old. Fifty is a lot of years. It is half of a century. Do you realize how long that is?

I was thinking, and then I thought about how she has back problems, but she gets up and goes to work every morning, and then goes home and lays on the floor with her feet up, in an attempt to relieve some of the pain. She bought a treadmill so she could stay in shape, and she dyes her hair and she is really a beautiful woman.

And here I am, wasting my life, tipping waitresses (whom I don't even know) twenty-three dollars on a twenty-seven dollar meal, and spending thousands of dollars on trips to places I've never been before to meet people I've never met before, and seriously, I bet $400 on the flip of a coin today, because that is how much of a degenerate I am. It doesn't matter that I won the coin flip, what matters is that I should get an honest job so I can support my mother and she won't have to work anymore.

This is my new life's goal: I am going to be able to give my mother $5000 a month starting on her 50th birthday. That is what a good son would do, right? I really want to be a better son.

[ Who - Whom - Old - Host ]
the one where i ramble about my mother