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2006-09-11 - 1:51 p.m.

I am an adrenaline junkie.

Fear

I work best under pressure. Back when I had to write papers for classes, I would sit down at my computer at around 8 pm and write a paragraph. Then I'd get distracted, watch se7en and memento, and soon it would be an hour before the paper was due, and I'd love it. Every minute of frantic typing and running to the classroom made college worth it, because I sure as hell didn't learn anything.

Desperation

Heart-pounding. Gut-wrenching. The heros of our stories find themselves in situations described with these words. I specifically put myself in these situations, because I don't feel alive unless my pulse is doubling and I have those butterflies trying to burst out.

Panic

There are some times in life when you just need to figure out something or everything will just go to shit. When you pace the same five-foot line on your floor, saying "Oh shit oh shit, oh fuck what the hell do I do? oh fuck this is not good." I work myself into a frenzy thinking about worst case scenarios, and how to deal with them. Just to feel something that isn't complacency.

Love

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fear, panic